As September is almost upon us, thoughts in many households are turning to preparing for the new school year. For those, starting boarding school, this is a significant milestone for both parents and children. The transition can be challenging, but with the right preparation and mindset, it can also be a positive and rewarding experience. Here are some tips from our team of expert education consultants, to help your child settle into boarding school during those crucial first few weeks.
Prepare Ahead of Start Day
Before your child’s first day, take the time to familiarise them with the key staff in their boarding house. The matron, often a warm and approachable figure, will be there with a hot drink and a reassuring smile whenever your child needs it. The housemaster or mistress is another important person, responsible for the overall well-being of the students in the house. Encourage your child to seek out older pupils who were once new boarders themselves—they can offer invaluable advice and support.
Encourage Social Connections at School
It’s normal for new boarders to feel homesick, but it’s important for your child to share their feelings with friends rather than isolating themselves. Encourage them to get involved in clubs and activities, and to spend time in the house common room chatting with friends. Keeping busy and being around others is key to overcoming homesickness. If your child is feeling sad, remind them that talking to someone is always better than sitting alone or getting straight on the phone to home.
Plan a Treat for the First Exeat
Having something to look forward to can make all the difference. Plan a special treat for the first exeat or leave-out weekend, whether it’s a favourite meal at home, a family outing, or a movie night. Knowing they have this to look forward to can help your child push through the initial settling in period.
Set Communication Boundaries
It’s natural to want to keep in close contact, but limiting phone calls during the first two or three weeks can help your child settle in more quickly. Agree on how and how often you will keep in touch. If you don’t hear from your new boarder as often as you’d like, take it as a good sign—they’re likely busy and adjusting well.
Stay Positive in Conversations
When you do speak to your child, focus on the positives. Ask them what they’re enjoying about their new boarding school. Ask about their new friends, the activities they’re involved in, and the teachers. Avoid talking too much about home, younger siblings, or exciting events they might feel they’re missing out on. Keep the conversation upbeat and centred on their new experiences at boarding school.
Trust the Boarding Staff
Boarding school support teams have extensive experience in helping children settle in. Trust their expertise and guidance. If you have concerns, it’s okay to reach out to them, but try to avoid overloading your child with questions or showing too much of your own anxiety. Your confidence and happiness on the outside, even though you are madly treading water underneath, will help your child to feel more secure. Keep the focus on when you will next see them and how excited you are to hear about all their new friends, teachers and all the new opportunities they are enjoying.
Make Drop-Off Day Short and Sweet
The first day is emotional for both you and your child, but it’s important not to linger too long. Follow the school’s program for the day, help your child to unpack and settle in, say hello to other parents and children in your child’s dorm. When the time comes to day goodbye, make it swift. Let your child know when you’ll call them and next see them and leave when advised by the school. The longer you stay, the harder the goodbye will be for both of you.
Ensure They’re Fully Equipped
Make sure your child has all the required uniform, sports kits, toiletries, slippers and other necessary items. Getting into trouble for missing a piece of equipment, like a mouthguard or hockey stick, can add unnecessary stress and cause homesickness. Being well-prepared and organised will help your child feel more confident and ready to tackle their new environment.
Pack some photos of family and pets, as well as a favourite duvet cover or blanket to make their sleeping space feel cosy and homely. Try not to over-pack, particularly if your child is young. Keeping lots of clothes and belongings together and tidy is more challenging when boarding for the first time. Storage space may be limited. Follow the advice of the school.
Check out the school policy for mobile phones, tablets and laptops before purchase or packing. Many boarding schools now provide a tablet or laptop which will be easier to use, as it is already set up with all the required safety features.
Encourage Traditional Letter Writing
In today’s digital age, receiving a handwritten letter can be a special treat. Pack some stamped and addressed envelopes with notepaper for your child, so they can easily write and send a quick note home. These letters will become treasured keepsakes in the years to come. Perhaps consider writing back – receiving a letter will be a welcome boost to morale.
Keep Yourself Busy
As a parent, it’s natural to worry, but try to keep yourself occupied. Staying busy will help you avoid overthinking and give your child the space they need to adjust. Remember, if they need you, they will reach out. If the school have any concerns at all, they will call you.
Settling your child into boarding school for the first time takes time, but with these tips, parents and children alike can navigate this new chapter with confidence. Trust in the process and the expertise of the pastoral support staff, and before you know it, they’ll be thriving in their new environment.
If this piece on UK Boarding Schools has made you think considering British boarding schools could be the right option for your child, we offer a complimentary call for all families so we can explore this discussion further on an individual family basis. During the call we will ask you about your child, and your ambitions for their education. Then, we discuss how we are best to help you navigate the often-confusing waters of choosing, applying and securing an offer of a place to join the best British boarding school for your child and family.
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